Over the last few months I have discovered many amazing things about myself. Most notably, I have rediscovered my love for creation. More specifically, the creation of art in many mediums. I have started acting again, something that I had a huge passion for while I was in high school. It's amazing! Why did I stop doing this? It was not a conscious decision to take a lengthy hiatus but just a situational happening that I did not intend for. Now, for the first time ever I am engaged in a very personal process with acting. I am learning how to breath while speaking and stay on my voice rather than close my throat and speak in an airy-tone. This has given me much more confidence in my speaking voice and allowed me to share my thoughts more clearly to others. It feels great to communicate clearly. I have also realized that I am becoming a better listener....most of the time. I started about a month ago as an experiment to repeat every word that immediately hear back in my head. If a teacher is speaking, I will repeat what they say in my head. Am I driving myself insane? Maybe. But this exercise required me to be 100 percent fully engaged with the person I am conversing with. Imagine if when you read, you just scanned your eyes across the words but did not actually read them in your head. How much would you absorb from this scanning compared to the reading in your head? It is a worlds difference in comprehension. Why did nobody tell me to try this, ever? I think it's even helping me with my reading abilities.
Acting: It's a cool things we do with our minds and bodies. Breath, relax, concentrate - act.
While at school this year, I have tried to take any and all opportunities to create anything and everything. And I'm loving it, every time I do. There is nothing more satisfying for me than communicating my thoughts through an artistic medium - I work with many mediums. Right now I'm working on separate projects that involve me to be the director, actor, editor, writer, cinematographer, sound recordist. When I am involved in these creative activities and the soothing music of James Blake or The Shins are playing in the background, I get in the zone. This is life. Live and create. Experiment. Fail. When I fail, I succeed because I failed. Laugh, smile, be. In a perfect world, I would create these things without worrying about making a living. But making a living is important to well, live. So, that's always in the back of my mind. How can I balance this love of creating to making a living and support myself now and in the future? Sometimes sacrifices have to be made but most importantly, I need to keep in mind that if I want to live, I must create.
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